My Developing List

     From college I remember many things that I did and saw, most of these are from times that I spent outside of the classroom.  However, there are a few classroom discussions that I distinctly remember having with classmates and professors.  During one of my psychology classes, the professor was planning to lecture on self identity.  He stood in front of the class, told us to take out a piece of paper and create a list of words that describe who we are.  I took out my piece of paper and began creating my list.  The first five or six words came easily and then I started to think....(I would love to have that paper today to compare the words that I wrote then to what I might write now).  Anyway, after time was up the professor began to ask people to volunteer to share their words.  The professor explained that people will write their most dominate self-identity traits first.  I remember being in awe of what people wrote.  Nearly all of the women wrote "woman," however, few of the men wrote man.  And all of the people who were not white, wrote their ethnicity.  It was then that I started to think more critically about who I am and who I am not. 

     Throughout college, I kept a journal in which I would struggle with all of my identity, relationship, and faith issues.  I have not gone back to read it because I know what is it there, a young man who is trying to breakdown the self-identity he was given and begin to rebuild who is really was.  As I sit here today and begin this blog, I think of all the words that have been on my list since that classroom 10 years ago.  It is sometimes sad to look back on words that have come and gone and yet there is excitement when I think of the words yet to be.  

Some of my words include: (in no particular order)

Urban school teacher

White male

Learner

Boy friend

Friend

Runner

United Methodist
Youth Pastor

Catholic

Chicagoan

Volunteer

Farmer

Uncle

Son

Foster Parent

Reader

Dreamer

   One of my college jobs was being the youth pastor at two different United Methodist Churches.  It was amazing the relationships that I built with those kids and how they grew to be fine young men and women.   I would like to think that I had some influence in this, but it is hard to tell for sure.  Anyway, a couple of years ago, I met up for coffee with one of the young ladies that was in that youth group when she was in 6th grade until her Sophomore year of high school.  We were sitting and having coffee and she was talking to me about her boyfriend and her job.  I asked about college and she explained that she wanted to go to art school, but was afraid to leave her family.  I began to challenge her thinking on this and push her to at least try it out.  There is no doubt in my mind that she wrestled with this for several weeks as she tried to figure out what word she would place on her list.  I think that this is a challenge for everyone.  However, today she is nearly finished with art school and is very happy with her decisions.  The list that we develop of who we are is something that is constantly evolving as we grow.  

   

     When I look back on that little black journal, it will not be shared with anyone until I am gone.  So, I have decided to blog this time because it can be shared.   I hope that this blog will chronicle my journey through who I am now and who I am going to be.  As you travel through this journey with me, I hope that it helps you to examine your description list and begin to challenge yourself to make changes that will lead to developing your happiness.  

........for now I should go feed the chickens........